Idina
by The Redheaded Duck
Summary: Idina is a Muggleborn with problems at home and a love at Hogwarts. How can one Lucius Malfoy help her? RR! (please?)
1. Default Chapter

Summary: Idina is a Muggleborn who just found some security and comfort in the one she's least expected… (Cue drum roll)

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. (I'm just getting used to that fact, so bear with me if I slip once in a while.) Songs by Evanescence.

Idina tossed and turned in her bed, removing the covers once again. Her brain hadn't shut down all night. She was returning to Hogwarts in the morning and she was too excited. She missed her classes, having a dormitory to share with her four best friends, instead of four brothers and sisters at home, but most of all, she missed the one person who she had really left behind.

She spent the night thinking, thinking only of him. His pale face, his exuding confidence, his voice that could injure and arouse simultaneously. They had parted at the End of Term feast, both knowing their mutual like for one another, neither of them doing much about it.

_You used to captivate me _

_By your resonating light _

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

He approached her suavely in the Great Hall while she was refilling her cup of pumpkin juice. "Meet me outside in 10 minutes," and started to pass her. She grabbed a bit of his robe to stop him, and questioned why. Some of the confidence in his eyes was lost now; it was replaced with fear, and longing, and pain. "Please," he whispered, "I need to talk to you," and he continued to walk out of the Great Hall.

She was completely surprised and almost didn't know how to react. It was true, she had liked him for almost two years now, but she never thought he would feel the same. Yet she found herself drifting back to the Ravenclaw table, telling her friends she was going to the bathroom, and following him outside. He wasn't there when she got there, but she heard the swish of his robes up ahead, and kept walking.

When she turned the corner, she barely had time to marvel again at the depth of his gray eyes before he placed his lips on hers. His hand was placed softly on her neck, under her long, thick, dark brown hair. His lips tasted of Mint Every Flavor Beans and regret. He kept the kiss slow and steady for some time, before opening her lips with his tongue. He breathed deeply through his nose, at the same time sounding as if he was gathering his nerve just by the way he breathed in the fresh air. She placed her hand, praying desperately to make it stop shaking, on his face, the other one still hanging at her side. He grabbed it, wrapping her fingers in his, and brought her closer to his body, leaning her against the wall. Here she pulled her mouth from his, slowly tilting her head back, and she breathed in deeply.

"Lucius."

"Shhh," he said, trying to kiss her again.

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"I am talking."

She was so caught up in him; his smell, his taste, his simultaneous warmth and icy manner. She couldn't stop. She didn't care that she had barely spoken three words to the boy in the past five years; he was with her now, that was all that mattered. She kept kissing him, her hands feeling his face, running through his hair, grazing his back.

She felt his hands leave the back of her waist and go to the top of her robes, and when he went to unbutton them she didn't stop him. As he unbuttoned, he kissed each bit of skin, starting with her neck, and working down. He almost reached the place between her breasts when she stopped him.

"Wait a minute."

He groaned a word that sounded like, "What?" but was very muffled.

"We can't do this here."

He seemed to snap back to reality at that point, because he looked up at her, the first time in all the time they had been in each others arms.

"You're right."

He let go of her, and said, "Go back to your friends, tell them you're not feeling well or something, and come back up here, to the third floor."

"What's there?"

"The Slytherin Head Boy's room. This year's Head Boy is a Ravenclaw; I use his room as my own, well, private space."

"And how many girls have you brought there before?"

He kissed her quick on the lips. "None like you."

"Uh huh," she said, but she smiled, and she started walking back to the Great Hall, thinking of an excuse to use on her friends, not really sure of how long she was "in the bathroom". She was almost at the corner again, when-

"I love you."

It was almost a whisper, but the hallway was now so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He said it as if he didn't expect her to hear or respond.

"I heard that." She turned, smiling. She looked back at him, he was halfway up the stairs, and his expression was hard to read.

"Go to your friends."

And now, Idina tossed and turned in her bed, wishing that the person who she would be seeing tomorrow was there with her now. She thought back to that night, the night they spent together, being held protectively in his arms, legs and souls intertwined. She couldn't forget him now, no matter how hard she tried.

_Your face it haunts _

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away _

_All of the sanity in me_

Idina wished she could sleep even just a little, but the thought of seeing Lucius again in just several hours' time was too much to bear. Finally, slightly before five in the morning, she gave up on sleeping and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She got dressed in her best Muggle clothes, (which she had plenty of, being that she was Muggle-born), put on a little makeup, and had breakfast ready for her four brothers and sisters by the time they all got up.

None of them were going to school with her, though. Idina, at 15, was the oldest; then there was Rose, and her twin, Daniel, who were 13; Wesley, who was 10, and Anya, who was 3. They, along with her parents, are all Muggles. They came from Russia when Wesley was several months old. Only a short while after they came to England, their father died, due to some sort of sickness he contracted in Russia that he had never been medicated for. Idina's mother, Tatiana, had Anya with one of her boyfriends out of wedlock; he left soon after.

Idina made a simple breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast. At the moment she wished that she wasn't an underage witch; she was much better with a wand than a frying pan. Her mother descended the stairs, carrying Anya on her hip. Idina gave Anya a kiss and handed her mother a plate of food.

"You can give me a ride to King's Cross today, right mom?"

"Oh, of course, Dina," her mother said, somewhat absently. "Here, honey, can you take Anya for me?"

Tatiana gave the baby over to her older sister, grabbed her plate of food, and left the room. Idina heard her crunching on the bacon and her house slippers lightly pounding the steps.

"Mom?" she called out to her, curious to see if anything was wrong, but she didn't answer. She brought Anya to a corner of the kitchen they used for a small play area, surrounded her with toys and stuffed animals, and followed her mother upstairs.

"Mom? Is there anything wrong?"

Tatiana sat at her mirror, dusty and slightly cracked in places, calmly brushing her hair with a comb missing several teeth.

"No, dear, what makes you say that?" Idina plopped herself on the foot of her mother's bedspread, and said,"No reason. You just seem upset."

"I'm not upset. No reason to be. None at all." Her voice was now unnaturally perky and happy, and Idina knew something was wrong.

"Mom-"

"Just because someone who you're just getting over leaving you decides to come barging back into your life, without warning, no reason at all to be the bit concerned. None at all. Just because he's left you all alone with no money and his kid to raise, that shouldn't bother you one bit, should it? Nope. Not me. Not at all."

"Mom-"

"And just because he expects you to suddenly have room for him in this crap house that she has to pay for all by herself, working all damn day and night, is no reason to get the least bit concerned."

"Mom, calm down."

"I'm calm, Idina, this is me calm! 'Cause why would I worry? No reason to worry! It all works out, though, doesn't it? It's all good and fine and…." Her breathing became sharp and painful sounding, like she was breathing in knives. Tears streamed down her cheeks and wouldn't let up. Finally, she collapsed on the bed next to Idina and said simply, "Aidan's coming back."


	2. Losing Control

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling...yadda yadda yadda (and I just added the word "yadda" to my online dictionary... do you really think JKR uses words like "yadda"????)

A/N: thanks to my reviewers, Lola Black and bammbean!!! love you! I meant to write a fic about Lucius and a character based on myself, but it just turned into this. Anyway, here's chapter 2!  
  
Chapter 2: Losing Control  
  
"Back? Aidan's back? But he can't—"

"Why can't he be?" Her mother said back at her angrily, as if Idina was the one who left her impregnated and alone. "He's managed to screw up our lives this much, what's stopping him now? "So what are we gonna do?" 

Tatiana ran her red nails threw her hair. "I don't know. I just don't know."

"How...when did you talk to him?" 

"Last night. He called. Said he....missed us."

"But that was three years ago."

"Yeah, well, he missed a lot then." She sighed deeply.

"Why are you letting him come back? Can't you just tell him, tell him you're over—"

"You think everything is so simple, don't you? IT'S NOT! IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE!"

"THEN TELL ME WHAT MAKES IT SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO GET OVER HIM? WHAT MOM, TELL ME! TELL ME WHY YOU CAN'T JUST TELL HIM TO LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE?"

"You know why I can't do that! You've seen what he's done to me before. Don't be stupid. He's hit you too."

"Yeah, and you're going to let that bastard in this house again? That's real smart."

Idina barely had time to register the words that came out of her own mouth, before she felt a sharp, hot pain on her cheek. Her mother covered her face with her hands, looking scared as to what she had done. She breathed in and out trying to hold back her tears. Idina just looked up at her mother in deep surprise and almost hate. Hands still covering her mouth, Tatiana left the room.

Idina slowly left too, when she saw her mother had gone, and headed for her own room. Her mother had never hit her before, never. Aidan had, several times. In a weird way, she almost expected it from Aidan, much more so than her mother.

_You think that I can't see right through your eyes  
  
Scared to death to face reality  
  
No one seems to hear your hidden cries  
  
You're left to face yourself alone_

__

Idina sat at her bed, pulled out a book, and began to read.  
  
"Idina! Let's go!"

She had finished her book by the time her mother was ready to leave. Going downstairs, she thought about how in just a few hours time, she would be back at Hogwarts. Her real home. Her thoughts were interrupted by the presence of Aidan downstairs.

"What are you doing here?" He was lying on the couch in sweats, watching a stolen television.

"Didn't you hear the good news?" he said nonchalantly, "I'm back."

"I see that," Idina said coolly, "So why don't you leave again? We were enjoying it so much."

"Shut up. This is my house, and that kid is mine. You can't stop me from living here."

"Wanna bet?" Aidan laughed, got up slowly from his seat, and walked toward the wall Idina was leaning on.

"You know, you gotta learn how to talk to adults, and you wouldn't be in so much trouble all the time."

Aidan thinks that Tatiana sends Idina away to school because she's a problem child; he doesn't know she's a witch. Idina likes it that way.

"You've gotten rather pretty since I've been gone," he said, letting one finger slowly graze her cheek. He did nothing more, but Idina stayed as still as possible and held her breath tightly, and only released it when he left the room.  
  
When she went outside to drive to the station, she was once again unhappily surprised to find Aidan there, waiting for her.

"What...why isn't my mom driving me?"

"Because she has children to take care of," said a voice behind Idina. It was her mother. 

"Aidan will drive you," she said all of this very calmly, and didn't look Idina in the eye.

Tatiana came over to her daughter, gave her a big hug and kissed her hair. She whispered in her ear, "Please. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for everything I've done in the past, because the only right thing I've done in my life is having you. Please. Please try to make it work between you two. He's going to be here for good now."

Tatiana pulled away as if she couldn't stand being near her anymore, and told her she loved her.

"I love you too, Mom."

She got in the car somewhat reluctantly. Aidan had already gotten in the car and forced a smile in her direction. Aidan and Idina drove for a while in silence, until Aidan was about to open his mouth to say something. But what he was about to say, Idina never knew, because a loud, sickening crash erupted all around her, and everything went black.


End file.
